To the Adoptive Mommy out there:
No matter the stage of the adoption journey you are in right now, you are not alone.
There are a lot of us out there. Some of us just beginning to consider adoption. Some of us in the piles of paperwork and homestudy visits. Some of us waiting. Some of us have been matched and are hopeful the path will be clear and easy from here. Some of us were matched but the Birth Mother changed her mind or something happened in the orphanage or the country program closed, or…the list could go on…and you are mourning the child’s life or what could have been. Some of us have just met our child, this long awaited, prayed for, cried for, yearned for child. Some of us are just beginning to understand the loss our child feels. Some of us are in the midst of seeing how the adoption journey is affecting the children we already have in our home…be it healthy or heart-wrenching ways. Some of us have had our child home for a while now and yet are still learning how “life before us” has negatively impacted your child. Some of us have made it through deep waters and have made it to shore. Some of us are in a new role of helping other adoptive moms tread the waters. Some of us are praying the same prayers for another family that we for so long prayed for our own. Some of us are wondering “what’s next” and are back to square 1 researching, researching, researching, knowing there is another child out there and the adoption journey is yet to unfold. Some of us are assuredly “done”…”all here.” Some of us are comfortable. Some of us are weary.
The waves of comfortable and weary ripple over us one after the other. This is something called “motherhood.” And those ripples continue. So embrace ’em.
What I am finding to be true is that joining other adoptive mothers in their ripples is joy-filled indeed. Walking hand in hand with a mother who has gone before you, or coming after you, or right with you is a God-given gift that we should embrace fully.
There is this thread woven into my life with the adoptive mothers who have journeyed with me. A beautiful thread that is ragged, and torn, and strong, and BEAUTIFUL. A thread that no matter the milestone of the journey, it holds.
It is abundantly rooted in God’s grace and mercy. It is entwined with the women He has placed together, pouring into each other prayers and encouragements and need-filled late night texts.
It shines with the waters we thought would take us down, the valleys covered with shadows, the shores that glistened in peace, and the sovereignty of God’s hands in every moment.
Remember Who you serve. Remember Who He says you are. Remember the women journeying with you. We are in this together. Ours is a journey riddled with Spiritual Warfare that shoves its ugly fears in us unexpectedly. Know you are not alone. Know who your fellow warriors are. Lean on them and walk this road in joy and togetherness.
Be the Adoptive Momma to others that you have had witnessed in your own life. Your journey is not over. It might be entering a different season. It might be revisiting an old season. But it is not over.
If you don’t know, ask God to show what season you are in and ask the Lord to provide women to walk this journey with you. After my last blog, I realized how much we still need one another to be open and vulnerable…not just in the waiting and the moments of sheer joy. In all of it.
Keep on. Be in “all of it” with others. You are not alone. So don’t force yourself to be.