I Remember

I was reminded this morning that 8 months ago was when we received a call about a baby girl, 2 days old…that we had been chosen to be her parents, and were we interested in being her Mommy and Daddy.

That phone call changed our lives.

I remember that moment so clearly. Where I was sitting. The breath that I couldn’t breathe as I sat trembling, tears stinging in my eyes, my heart and brain screaming inside me “is this your daughter? Is she the one?”

I remember the text messages to 2 friends, “don’t ask questions. Just pray” that I sent out immediately. I remember Ro and O doing remarkably well during their quiet time and still being asleep so I went outside to sit on the front steps as I waited for Zane to get home. But I couldn’t sit. I just kept standing up and pacing in my front yard and driveway. I remember I had to keep taking deep breaths, as if I was forgetting to breathe as my mind flooded with questions, and those breaths were so deep I felt I would fall over.

I remember the moment Zane pulled in the driveway. I couldn’t even run up to him. We both walked slowly up to one another and gave each other the most shaky, awkward hug of our relationship, waiting for the other to confirm whatever it was we were supposed to be feeling.

I remember knowing. For brief seconds. And then doubting. And then knowing. And then questioning. I remember trying to pray for wisdom yet my prayers were flooding with petitions that this baby girl would be okay; would thrive; that she would know love.  That she would feel love.  That she wouldn’t be alone.

8 months. It is as real as if it had happened today. May I never forget, and never take for granted, the moment that God held us so tight as He revealed the *who* that was in His plan  all along.

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