Face the God I Know

2 years ago, it was the darkest part of the adoption journey to Zora.

My friend Cat remembers this time well.  I cannot recall her exact words, but she said something along the lines of, “I will always remember March 2015 as the month you loved and hurt with all you had in pursuing Baby Seals #3.”

I was *so close* to giving up.  It wasn’t that I didn’t believe in God’s goodness, and faithfulness.  It was that I knew He had called us on the road to adoption but I wasn’t sure if there was a child at the end of the road.  There were millions of orphans….but maybe God was writing a different ending to our story.

It was dark.  It was painful.  I looked up at the Chalkboard in our living room that I had scribbled on “He has made everything beautiful in it’s time (Ecclesiastes 3:11)” and asked God out loud, “Even this?  Are you making this beautiful?”

The adoptive parents out there….you know this place.  You know the weight of that fear and burden.  Our stories are woven together in such a way that often when we read another’s words on the chapters of our journeys, we can say: I get it.

And we do.  We ‘get’ it.

This song (surprise, surprise that there is another song!) was on the radio today.  It shot me into reminders of God’s goodness and faithfulness.  Listening to it reminds me of March 2015 and oh.how.I.wish I knew it then.  Song or not, God had given me my friend Cat, pouring Truth into my life and holding my hand through the hardest chapter of the wait.

So this serves as a reminder to me.

And to my friends out there who are in a dark chapter, you are not alone.  Fear has to face the God we know.

And God wins.  And proves again and again that He is who He says He is.

Oh, my soul. Oh, how you worry.
Oh, how you’re weary from fearing you lost control
This was the one thing you didn’t see coming
And no one would blame you though if you cried in private,
If you tried to hide it away s
o no one knows.
No one will see if you stop believing

Oh, my soul. You are not alone. 
There’s a place where fear has to face the God you know.
One more day, He will make a way.
Let Him show you how you can lay this down.
‘Cause you’re not alone.
Here and now, you can be honest. 
I won’t try to promise that someday it all works out
‘Cause this is the valley and even now He is breathing on your dry bones.
And there will be dancing. 
There will be beauty where beauty was ash and stone.
This much I know.
Oh, my soul. You are not alone.
There’s a place where fear has to face the God you know.
One more day, He will make a way. 
Let Him show you how you can lay this down.
I’m not strong enough.  You can lay it down.
I can’t take anymore.  You can lay it down.
And my shipwrecked faith will never get me to shore.  You can lay it down.
Can He find me here? Can He keep me from going under?
Oh, my soul.  You are not alone.
There’s a place where fear has to face the God you know.
One more day, He will make a way.
Let Him show you how you can lay this down.
~Casting Crowns, Oh, My Soul.

Cat is one of my friends that when I feel weary, when I am lost in questions, she points me back to the God we know.  She points me the cross.  It is God’s gift to have friends in my life like her.

He’s got this.  He always has had this.

There are so many friends in the valley right now.  In the unknowns, and in the waters….they are treacherous.

But YOU.are.not.alone.  God sees every wave before it crashes.

To my friends waiting…you are not waiting alone.
To my friends trapped in political red tape…whose child(ren) are trapped in political red tape…you and they are not alone.
To my friends weary or hurting or scared…you are not alone.
To my friends who have had tears turned to joy-filled dancing…live life with those in the valley.  Let God use you in ways He used Cat for me.  Hold each other up.  Encourage each other.  Be with each other.  Remind them of Who God is.

Remind them of the God we know.

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