Dear Heart of my Heart

Dear Birth Mother,
Tomorrow is Mother’s Day where I live. And there is so much joy surrounding this day. I have two beautiful children, a son and daughter, and they have my heart. They make me laugh, they make me forget things, they make me cry, they make me be a mess. A beautiful mess I’d like to think. But a mess nonetheless. And tomorrow, I get to enjoy the day being celebrated as a Mother. And that title, Mother, is one of the most gracious gifts the Lord has ever given me.

But I cannot celebrate tomorrow, or even enter into tomorrow, without thinking of you. Without praying for you. Without loving you. You are my future child’s song. You are my future child’s warmth. My child loves your voice, your heart beat, the sound the water makes as you wash dishes. The way your womb causes him/her to dance as you walk to and from your village. You are my child’s everything. And to that, I cannot help but say thank you. I love you. You are beautiful. You are cherished. You are so loved by me, a Mother an ocean away from you.

I don’t know what has brought you to this point. I don’t know if you pass away during the birth of our child or if you give our child up for reasons that I can never understand. I do not know if you abandon our child in the streets, at the hospital, or at the doorsteps of an orphanage. But what I do know is that you have given our child life. You have given our child a chance. You are the first person to love our child. I might not ever know what brought you to this point, to pregnancy, to saying goodbye, to being one of the most important women in my life, ever. But what I do know is that you will always be in my heart. You will be celebrated in my heart every Mother’s Day. Your gift of life will never be forgotten.
So tonight, wherever you are, I hope you are at peace. I hope that you feel loved. I hope that you know someone out there loves you and aches for you and prays for you and thanks God for you. I pray that you have a warm home and are surrounded by family. I pray that you know my Savior, Jesus Christ, and that one day in Heaven you and I will meet face to face.

To my child’s everything, I love you. Thank you. Happy Mother’s Day to you.

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